In response to a comment published on my WWDB blog. I felt the following could be of use to other readers who are in a similar situation:
At the time of our meeting and when we initially married, my husband was not abusive. That began to happen about six months after we were married, at the most.
He was already a member of Amway when we met, but he wasn't doing much with it. Immediately following our marriage, he began to become more involved in "the business."
When I first met him, I didn't know much about Amway. When I met his upline sponsors after we were engaged, I assumed they were just good friends of his. I was wrong. Several months after we were married, I attended a rally and was impressed by how supportive the wives seemed to be of the men. After that, I heard the Emerald woman speak, and all she did was edify her husband or tell "we women" that we needed to let go of any negativity we might be harbouring. As I attended other occasions, I overheard the spouses instructing "we gals" to be obedient, as if we were wrong for having any demands or desires. Is it one of the children's or your birthday, and there's a party to celebrate it? You'll have to guess which one takes precedence. After you've achieved "Freedom," or when you've achieved Diamond status, you can rejoice.
I was under the impression that there would be some sales training. I went to an Artistry clinic, where they taught us how to do cosmetics and showed us some of the most recent hues available. However, there was no information on how to acquire consumers, produce revenue, or even host a cosmetics party in general. Bettyjean Brooks (wife of Jim Brooks, WWDB) made a tape about how to start a retail store, which was played on the show at one point. I placed an order for it, but it was never delivered. Her marriage to Jim ended in divorce. In the meantime, Jim remained in WWDB, and the recording became "unavailable."
Husband adhered to the "fake it 'til you make it" philosophy to the letter. He was known as "Mr. Successful" by everyone. Following the birth of our child, I decided to become a stay-at-home mother. He misled everyone into believing that our Amway income was the reason I was able to stay at home with my children. We hadn't even reached 1500 PV yet. We were never in a position to make money. I kept my lips shut and played the character of submissive/supportive wife, and it worked perfectly. Preparing and maintaining records, managing call-in and pickup for our downline, and attempting to sell our products to "customers." He never attempted to sell anything; it was the responsibility of his wife. That was taught to me by WWDB.
Due to the abuse, the police were called in, and everything finally came to a head. He was required to vacate our residence. He lied to everyone, claiming that it was all a big hoax and that the courts (and I) were exaggerating the severity of the situation. I became certain (as did the therapist) that he was not being completely truthful with any of us after going through counselling and therapy sessions with him. I decided to file for divorce.
It was at that point that the upline got in touch with me. Platinum, emerald, and our sponsor (the wife) all phoned me separately. At first, they claimed to be genuinely "concerned" about me and wanted to provide me advice. When I informed them what had happened and why I was leaving, they responded by saying that it was "unbiblical" for me to leave my spouse and that I should have stayed. You're yelling at me. You're accusing me of being negative. They also stated that there was no way he could have done those things, and that they couldn't believe it when he admitted it to himself. I offered to provide them a copy of the police report if they wanted to see it. Nobody ever took me up on my offer, unfortunately.
Obviously, I cannot say that Amway trained him to be abusive, but I am convinced that they taught him to be a good liar and how to conceal the facts and deflect questioning. They did everything they could to keep the "little lady" at home, pregnant, and in the kitchen, short of preaching it. In the past, wives on stage would boast about how their husband and wife had driven a hundred miles and left their children sleeping in the car while they went into someone's house to demonstrate a plan.
Indeed, freedom is a good thing. It's more like a form of servitude.
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