Ambot and I were in the car one day when Ambot pulled out his cell phone to call his long-distance girlfriend, Platinum.
He inquires as to whether his teenage son would be interested in mowing our grass.
What the fuck is going on! Ambot never brought this up with me beforehand and never discussed it with me. Since I've been mowing that lawn, Ambot has never given me any money when I've placed the mower back in its place and come inside. And now he wants to pay the motherfucking Platinum's adolescent son to mow our lawn.
First and foremost, Ambot never double-checked with anyone about this before pulling out his phone. Perhaps because he is aware that I would have answered NO!.
Second, teenagers are adamant about not mowing lawns. They have a slew of other things they'd prefer be doing instead. When I was a teenager, I was very adamant about not wanting to mow the yard.
Third, the Platinum was on the other side of town from where I resided. Then there's the question of who's going to drive his adolescent over here to mow our fucking yard. I don't think so, papa dearest. Ambot or, more than likely, myself would be assigned the "honour" of a 45-minute round trip commute time.
Fourth, Ambot would almost certainly have paid him a hefty sum for an hour's work mowing our lawn, such as $40 or $50, if he had done so. I'd mow the grass every day if he paid me that much!
Fifth, while I may have despised mowing the lawn as a teenager, I now see that it is beneficial to my health as an adult. I also take great care in maintaining my property in good condition. Our grass isn't going to be cared about by some hired adolescent who doesn't care about anything.
Fortunately, the Platinum's son is like every other adolescent out there in that he has absolutely no interest in mowing a lawn and has stated emphatically that he will not be doing it.
As of this writing, I still have no idea why Ambot suddenly felt the need to call the Platinum and offer to hire his kid to mow the lawn, other than the possibility that his distorted perception of the situation led him to believe that this would get him brownie points. I'm also perplexed as to why he thought it necessary to discuss this with me before proceeding with it. I always mow the lawn, so why in the world would Ambot come up with such a brilliant idea is beyond me. No, I wasn't moaning about having to mow the grass and simply asked if someone else could do it for me. It's not like Ambot is the one who has to mow our lawn because he doesn't want to do it and can't get me to do it, so he is forced to hire someone.
What I find most surprising is that the Platinum did not respond with something like: "You want MY son to mow YOUR lawn?" You've got that one completely backwards, dude. I'd like YOU to take care of MY grass. Please mow MY yard twice a week in order to maintain it looking neat and clean. Aside from that, I'm not going to pay you anything for the privilege of mowing my grass. After every ten times you mow my grass, I'll sit down with you and talk about your problems. You've gotten yourself a fantastic deal here! Oh, and I forgot to mention that I expect you to provide gas for my lawnmower as well.”
You're a pompous piece of trash, to boot. Perhaps the chat DID take place, and Ambot just didn't tell me about it. He could have been mowing that sack of shit's grass, for all I knew!
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