We used to hear stories about how ambots were becoming financially independent and about the last morning they had to get up and go to work for someone else at every Amway conference. It was complete crap.
They are all telling the same storey. Males are invariably involved - but then, what else would you expect from the Amway good old boys club than a group of macho chauvinist pigs? They're all seated at their desks, working hard to complete their tasks. Then their wife comes in and tells them it's time to go. Apparently, this was not anything that had been planned in advance. The decision was made on the spur of the moment by the wife an hour or two earlier. Then they both go into the office and tell the boss that he should stick his job where the sun doesn't shine. Then they stroll out of the loathed corporation and away from the hated J.O.B. hand in hand, gloating in the eyes of their comrades who are standing by to witness their triumphant exit. All of the members of their Scamway squad have gathered outside the building. What? Didn't any of them jerks have jobs that they had to go to every day? There's usually a limousine waiting outside to take you to your destination. The husband and wife get into it, and it always leads them back to their home in the end. Oh, come on, use your imagination a little bit here. When renting a limo, it is likely that you will need at least two hours. You might simply request that the driver drive you around and have sex in the backseat. However, this is not the case. They're all itching to get back home. And what is the first thing that they do when they get home from work? They slam the alarm clock in the face! They will never have to wake up to the sound of an alarm clock ever again in their lives. This is especially true now that it has been shattered into smithereens. They have the option to wake up when they are through sleeping!
And everyone in the company's upper management has the same nonsense to say. It's the same every time. At work, I had an epiphany and decided to quit and walk away. Outside, cult members applauded the ambot for deciding to step down. Limo. Dismantle the alarm clock.
First, I'd want to point out a handful of inconsistencies I've seen in this frequently repeated storey.
It's possible that the husband drove himself to work. He gets into a limo and drives away. What is he planning on doing with his car? Even though I realise it's probably one of those clunker ambot shitmobiles that's always breaking down, the employer isn't going to be too pleased with the car being abandoned there, are you? The tow truck is summoned by the boss. Ambot receives a citation for failure to pay towing and storage fees. Refuses to make a payment. The car will be sold at auction. Ambot's credit record has a negative rating due to a towing company.
Furthermore, who uses an alarm clock anymore? When clock radios became popular in the 1970s, didn't they go out of style as well?
Platinum, the sack of shit, teased us about this storey, and didn't we want to hear it as well?
Let's see what happens. It's been years since I've worked for anyone else. So, what exactly am I expected to do now? Make my way to the restroom and look myself in the eyes as I declare that I am finished. You're a jerk. I should gather everyone in my Barbie doll collection to act as my pretend coworkers so that everyone can witness this beautiful occasion. When I stomp out of my house, there's a limo waiting for me. Who made the phone call and paid for this jerk? Hmm. Would you mind taking me on a scenic drive for a couple of hours and then returning me home? This magnificent moment when I tell myself that I'm quitting and that I'm never going to work for myself again is being witnessed by the entire neighbourhood, which is lined with clunkers belonging to ambots who must all have phoned in sick today so they can come over to my house and witness it. When it comes to smashing my clock radio, I'm really hesitating about it. It performs flawlessly. It will be a huge mess to clean up afterward. And what happens when I want to listen to music in the evening but can't seem to locate my iPod?
And I'll be able to wake up whenever I'm finished sleeping the next morning! Well, that's a wrap. What kind of entertainment is that? That is something I already do. It's something I've been doing for years. I normally get up about 8 a.m. after a good night's sleep. It functions as a sort of internal alarm clock. Yeppers. I don't set an alarm on my clock radio unless there is something specific I need to be up for in the morning, which is usually taking myself or someone else to the airport. Undeniably, I'm a talented individual, perhaps even more so than those ambots with their broken up old-fashioned alarm clocks. Yesterday, I felt completely exhausted after sleeping for two hours. Yes! Twice! Let's see whether an ambot can pull it off! When I woke up the first time, it was around 5 o'clock. Upon waking up, I had a flash of inspiration for something I needed to do, so I went into the office, turned on the computer, wrote a reminder for myself so I wouldn't forget, and then returned to bed. The next time I woke up was at 9:45 a.m., which was after I had finished sleeping.
I want to make it clear that you do not have to be a fraudulent Amway IBO in order to inform your supervisor that you are quitting. It is possible for anyone at any point to tell the boss, screw you, I'm outta here. In addition, you are not required to be quitting your work in order to hire a limousine. People hire them on a regular basis for a wide variety of various situations. Their fees vary depending on whether you choose a regular-sized limousine or one of those stretch SUVs, as well as where you are going and how long you need to use the vehicle. The limousine companies will accept payments from anyone; they are not restricted to ambots!
Regardless, it appears to be a charming fairy tale for the Amway cult's adherents. Those cretins, on the other hand, need to change their storey to stay up with the times. We are on the verge of entering a generation that will have no concept of what an alarm clock is.
Huh? What is a typewriter, and how do you use one?
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