One of the requirements for becoming an Amway Independent Business Owner (IBO) is that you must be a jerk. The biggest fucking jerk asshole in the entire world. If you are not a good liar prior to joining the Amway cult, you must demonstrate your willingness to lie in order to be accepted. You have to sneer at those who won't buy your shoddy, overpriced Amway items, as well as at people who don't want anything to do with the Amway organisation. You must maintain the appearance that "business is booming!" Make a fool of yourself until you make it!
I failed miserably in my attempt to deceive the Amway executives. I'm a little too honest. Obviously, if the Amway firm is in shambles – with no sales and no ability to con prospects into joining – then I'll be honest and state it like it is. I failed miserably at being an Amway jerk because I was unable to tell the truth.
I tried my hand at being an Amway scammer, but failed miserably. I can't tell people that pricey, shoddy Amway items are "priced to represent their quality," as we're taught at Scamway meetings, because I can't tell them that. If it were the case, Amway would be hawking their wares in stores dubbed "nothing more than a buck" all over the place. I failed miserably at being an Amway jerk as a result of my failure as a scammer.
Another time I failed miserably at being an Amway con artist when it came to Amway's shoddy, expensive items. That is, the ones that we are meant to persuade people to ingest because they taste delicious or have all these wonderful medical therapeutic abilities when consumed. I'm the type of person who tells it how it is. Cat urine and the worst cough syrup on the market combine to create the flavour of XS energy drinks, which I find to be rather pleasant. The same may be said for food establishments. A rice cake and cardboard mix that has been dipped in the cheapest ass chocolate is what it is. It has a shittish taste to it! I failed again again at being an Amway jerk, this time owing to my inability to con people into believing that sleazy Amway items genuinely taste delicious.
I failed to live up to the Amway slogan of "don't say negative," which is the creed by which all Amway bastards operate. If I believe the fucking assholes in our Amway upline are a bunch of fucking assholes, then I am not afraid to call them out as such. If I believe an Amway product tastes like trash, I will state my opinion as clearly as possible. If I believe that an Amway cleaning product is worth a shit, I will say so out loud and in writing. It's referred to as being truthful. The truth is a foreign concept to Amway bastards, who refer to it by a different word — negative. I failed miserably at being an Amway jerk because I understand the difference between expressing the truth and being negative about a product.
I failed miserably in my attempt to be an immoral Amway jerk. I wouldn't say that I have particularly high standards, but I do believe that it is wrong to take advantage of others. It is referred to as being a nice human being and refraining from inflicting unhappiness into the lives of others. I'm not going to sign up for Amway just because some fucking Amway jerk convinced my Ambot to join the Amway scam, and the only way we have any hope of recovering any of the money we lost is to sign up other people who will also lose money, so I'm not going to do it. That is unethical. This is the code by which Amway jerks spend their lives. As an Amway jerk, I've failed miserably because I have morals and refuse to use my position to give others pain and suffering.
I failed miserably in my attempt to portray the Amway jerks in our upline as divine beings. I'm not kidding when I say fuck. Just fuck it up. They're just a bunch of jerks who joined Scamway before us, and that gives them the right to expect everyone in their downline to kiss their butts, doesn't it? No way, not in my opinion. The reason I'm a failure at being an Amway asshole is that I refuse to kiss the asses of the fucking assholes who work for our Amway upline.
I failed miserably in my attempt to serve as a bank for the jerks in our Amway upline. After all, why in the world should I waste my money on shoddy, overpriced Amway products just so you cretins in the Amway upline may get a few pennies off of my purchases in commission? This is the money we've worked so hard for. As a result, I failed miserably at being an Amway asshole because I don't want my money to be handed over to a bunch of fucking jerks.
When it comes to being an Amway fraudster, I made the mistake of not "putting in the work." The reason I know this is because every single one of these fucking Amway jerks comes to this site and screams about how I "didn't put in the effort" even though when I ask them to describe what "putting in the work" means, they run away and disappear like all fucking tiny Amway jerks do. Because Amway jerks go around criticising others of "not putting in the work," and I don't, I don't qualify to be considered an Amway asshole either.
I failed miserably in my attempt to be the subservient Amford wife that all of the assholes in the good old boys Amway male chauvinist pig club want the wives to be. Wives are expected to behave in a way that is consistent with another age, such as the turn of the century, rather than the most recent turn of the century. In this day and age, women are permitted to think for themselves, and equality with men is no longer seen as an odd occurrence. The same liberties are not available to women in Amway, where the male is the household's head and anything the woman wants or thinks is immaterial. Women are also not permitted to work and are required to stay at home with their children. This is a load of baloney in this day and age, according to ladies who have not been brainwashed by a cult. Due to my strong belief in the equality of women and my refusal to be dictated to by a bunch of fucking indoctrinated Amway Ambots, I failed miserably in my attempt to be a fucking asshole for Amway.
When you add them all together, it's not difficult to see why I failed miserably as an Amway jerk.
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