Once upon a time, while we were in Amway, the jerks in our upline informed us that we were now "business owners," and that it was our responsibility to come up with a name for the company. Never mind going through the right channels to properly register the business name in case someone else has already done so. Simply choose a name and put it to use. Afterwards, because you "own your own business," you have the freedom to name yourself whatever title you want.
The ambots are then instructed to create business cards to hand out to prospective customers and clients, prompting them to go out and purchase business card sheets so that they can create their own cards on their computers. In most cases, ambots distributed these business cards among themselves because no one else was interested, and they would all exclaim with delight as they received all of the fakey nicey nice over-the-top compliments. I noticed more messed-up pieces of shady faux businesses on these cards than you could possibly conceive in one place.
As with every nightmare, However, I don't recall any of the bogus ass business names that ambots picked for their fraudulent businesses, but I do recall some of the titles that they used. In addition, the business cards were a complete disaster. The jobs that you do from home where you use a clip art application on your computer to put a picture of a beach, a mansion, a sports vehicle, or sacks of money on your business card are called "home created jobs." The Amway logo was not used by any of the ambots, but I do recall some of them using images of Amway products, which was probably a violation of Amway's policy, but ambots couldn't care less about such inconsequential issues.
As a result, I'd get handed these business cards that said something along the lines of
Managing My Fucked Up Phony Ass Amway Company
Ambot is a jerk.
Bullshit's president and chief executive officer
Vice president of operations, president, CEO, manager, and vice president of operations - those vice president positions would appear on the wife's business cards! That is how things work at Amway. In every situation, the wives come in second place. What the fuck am I thinking? I have no idea! Wives are way down the list of priorities than second!
As part of operating a fictitious business under an impersonated company name, You can give yourself a fictitious business title in order to appear powerful and important.
What are some better titles for Amway Ambot business cards that should be included? Or, at the very least, more truthful titles:
Stupid fucking Asshole
Liar
Scammer
It's A Sack Of Sh*t
Dumb Fuck is a slang term for someone who makes a mistake.
Bastard is a phoney.
Loser
Bastard is a troublemaker.
Bullshitter in the lead
Mr. Bitch's Miserable Son-of-a-Bitch
Ass Kisser is an abbreviation for Ass Kisser.
Dreamstealer
Bastard is a negative character.
An enraged piece of sh*t
Son of a Bitch with a sneering snide grin
These ambots spend their days at work daydreaming about how wealthy they will become as a result of their affiliation with Amway, how they own their own business, and how this distinguishes them from everyone else they work with. They even have business cards to demonstrate this.
It is not enough to put on a business suit, pretend to be busy on your mobile phone, and play 8pm warrior while attending Amway meetings, or to distribute fake ass business cards with fictitious names and titles to pass yourself off as a legitimate business owner to the public.
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