A special thanks to one of our readers for supplying us with a new Amway Christmas classic. LOL! Please refrain from drinking any eggnog while you are reading this, as your computer will become stained as a result. LOL!
Here's a Christmas carol written specifically for Amway. Make a song out of it, set to the music of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."
RUDOLPH THE HALF-ASSED PLATINUM (RUDOLPH THE HALF-ASSED PLATINUM)
Rudolph the half-assed Platinum, to be precise.
He had an extremely large red nose, and
And if you've ever seen it, please let me know.
You'd say it looked like a rose in full bloom.
Every member of his higher up-line
They assumed he was intoxicated or insane—
Rudolph was never allowed to leave the house.
Screw any of the sluts in your organization's hierarchy.
Then there was that gloomy cold night
A Diamond showed up to say hello.
"Rudolph, with your enormous red nose, you're the best.
Would you be able to recruit new IBOs?"\
Rudolph then walked outside to conduct some sniffing.
Unfortunately for him, he did not have any luck —
As soon as the word "Amway" was introduced,
People were well aware that he was a schmuck.
They all agreed on one thing "Greetings, Rudolph—
There are no suckers in this place.
Why don't you just take your red nose and go home?
And bury it in the back of your Diamond's neck?"
Rudolph summoned up his Diamond sleigh.
as well as remarked "I'm unable to recruit from below.
What if I come over straight away?
And stick my nose down your backside?"
According to the Diamond "So, dear Rudolph, here's the deal:
It's not something we generally do.
However, if it travels at least six inches,
I'll double your PV for the next month."
Rudolph is a big hit with Amway customers.
His up-line has a huge smile on his face—
Rudolph's nose is a little darker than normal.
However, this is a brand-new Amway design.
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